All The New Tech That’s Upgrading Your Sleep Routine

by MR Magazine Staff

Sleeping is one of my very favorite activities, rivaled closely by preparing to sleep, or the pre-sleep time I spend laying horizontally with my hands folded on my chest, waiting for true sleep to capture me. When I am asleep, I dream of sleeping even more, usually in various natural landscapes. When I am awake, I am looking forward to sleeping and planning ways to make that sleep richer than the last. I am both Snow White and the witch, diabolically planning to sedate me, and then falling victim to myself. In 2018, my approach is mechanical. I love my wild cherry melatonin just as much as every other millennial, but for some reason, ingestables are hit-or-miss—it’s almost as if the human body is sublime and unpredictable. Plus sleeping pills are upsetting to bring up in friendly conversation. There’s nothing like a SmartPillow to light up your casual office chatter, as well as your bedroom—if it’s set to infrared therapy. Sleep tech is the final frontier of the wellness economy, which, by the way, has already embraced bidets. Does introducing new and unusual technologies into a human sleep cycle automatically make it more efficient, or does it complicate the process to the point of stress and, tragically even, sleeplessness? That’s a great discussion question for later. For now, I’m looking to mechanize my dozing for an optimum eight hours while inching closer to my ultimate goal of sleeping forever. Don’t wake me up. Read more at GQ.